In 2005, I witnessed an incident in which a man was killed by a freight train.
I decided to explore the feelings associated with my experiences of the incident and my thought patterns when on platforms. I spent spent several hours over a period of a few months documenting the freight trains passing through several stations.
As I actively started to look at my fears, I attempted to tackle their triggers and how I respond to them. The camera lens became a reactive tool, responding to all the things that bother me and that I’ve come to accept over the years when at stations and close to trains – steps and body positions, air turbulences, sounds, edges. It gets my heart racing. I wanted to convey my unease in the only way I could, by putting myself in an uncomfortable position and using my camera as an extension of myself to document moments. The lens served both as a protective shield in order for me to move and react within this uncomfortable world and also as a witness; helping me to rediscover and reflect upon events through the moments captured by the camera.
Film: Journey In
The film is an attempt at an externalisation of my initial reactions after the event. The loop signifies the flashbacks I experienced; the mental attempts at processing events that stand outside of logic and reason. This involuntary recurrent memory is controlled and played out.
The Lauriston Gallery, October 2013 – January 2014